Waiting

Feeling hopeful, feeling lost, feeling alone, feeling like you will never get what you have dreamed of for so long.  Some of us have endured the heartache of never knowing if we will ever have a baby.  Others of us have babies with us and still mourn for those we didn't get to keep.  Either way we are waiting.  Waiting for the day we can snuggle a precious gift in our arms.  

What do we do while we wait?  Both my miscarriages were "missed", which means the baby had died and my body hadn't yet let them go.  I played a long waiting game, trusting God would perform a miracle in my womb.  I didn't get the miracle I prayed for but knew my Father had bigger plans.  I am not saying I didn't have bad days (which is pretty evident from previous posts) but I did choose to worship and honor Him while I was waiting and when the waiting was "over" and praising Him for the testimony I had to share.  

Can I challenge you today amidst your pain and longing to worship Him while you are waiting.  He can fill our wombs and heal our hearts if we just let Him.  My heart goes out to each of you, whatever stage you are in.  

I have posted a song below that I heard during the movie Fireproof and it just reminded me of my journey through my miscarriages and how I wanted even more than ever to "praise Him while I am waiting".  I found this video that is dedicated to those who are yearning for that precious gift from above.  I want to trust Him more everyday, not knowing what He has in store.  "It is not easy, but I will wait."  

I pray this video encourages you and please never hesitate to email me or leave a comment if you need/want to talk.  We can't walk this journey alone.   

                                 

Things Never Happen The Same Way Twice

I learned with my last miscarriage that things never happen the same way twice.  We all grieved so much different the second time around.  I am not saying this is bad it was just different.  My biggest concern has always been how it will affect my children.  For those of you who have lost a child  and have other children you understand what I am saying.  

I came across an e-book back in August and hadn't had a chance to read it until now.  I thought I would pass it along to those of you who may benefit from it.  It is called, "A Guide to Children and Grief".  Here is an excerpt from the introduction of the book.

"By the age of 18, one in five children will experience the death of someone close to them.

One in 20 children experience the death of one or both of their parents before they turn 15.

Yet despite these astounding statistics, few general resources exist on how to help grieving

children. This Guide to Children and Grief is intended to provide an introduction to issues

common to grieving children.

You will learn:

• how children grieve differently than adults

• what to say and do to help grieving children

• where to find additional resources to help you and the child

This guide is intended to help the parents, teachers, friends, and mentors who provide

comfort and support during a child's grieving process.

Grief is a natural, healthy human process for recovering after a major loss. Although the

experience of grief is difficult, it's crucial for emotional growth. Like any suppressed

emotional response, unreconciled grief can have significant negative effects. As a

responsible, caring adult, your task is important: allow the child or children to fully

experience and learn from their grief."

While this book doesn't speak specifically of miscarriage and it does seem more geared towards the loss of a parent figure or other significant person in a child's life, there is good information on the grieving process of children and how it differs from adults.  

As a nurse who has studied death, dying and grieving I think this book will provide  you with some insight on how children think and react to death.  I think it may provide you with some good tips on how to help your child grieve.  Also, they have a list of resources in the back to further help.   

I can neither approve nor disapprove the resources they have given because I have not read any of them as of yet.  I can recommend a book or two that myself, or others I know, have benefited from in the past.  

Please feel free to leave a comment or email me if you have any questions or comments.  Thank you!  May God comfort you on your journey.

Recommended books:  Grieveing the Child I Never Knew by Kathe Wunnenberg;  Empty Arms By: Pam Vredevelt